I will not rest until you go to the Wikipedia page of garden gnomes to discover that the Roman predecessors of the kitschy little statues were fashioned after the Greco-Roman fertility god Priapus.
And this piece of information only seems insignificant until you find out that Priapus was recognised by his MAHOOSIVE PERMANENT BONER. I am not making this up. Petition to introduce a regulation requiring all gnome makers to honour the roots of their craft and reintroduce the vital component of oversized genitals to their work.
DO NOT step on the freshly buried.