Graveyard Gnome – Free Cross-Stitch Pattern

EVERYBODEE STOP.

I will not rest until you go to the Wikipedia page of garden gnomes to discover that the Roman predecessors of the kitschy little statues were fashioned after the Greco-Roman fertility god Priapus.

And this piece of information only seems insignificant until you find out that Priapus was recognised by his MAHOOSIVE PERMANENT BONER. I am not making this up. Petition to introduce a regulation requiring all gnome makers to honour the roots of their craft and reintroduce the vital component of oversized genitals to their work.

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